Have you ever lost someone close who shows up in your dreams? I have and I call them “Dream Angels”. I fully believe that those people who have gone on before are still with us in some way and that sometimes the only way to let you know they are here is to come through your dreams.
The first time I had this experience was with my grandmother. Nannie and I had a special relationship and losing her was one of the hardest things I had faced, at least until that time. The last coherent conversation that she I had had started with her telling me that I had been a blessing to her and that God had blessed her by letting me be in her life. She fell into unconsciousness that night and never spoke again. No, that’s not right, she did turn her head to me at one point and whisper, “I’m OK.” but she was basically gone. I was with her when she stopped breathing and I was only able to whisper a quick “I love you” into her ear.
The next week was spent with funerals and well meaning people trying to make us feel better. By the end of the week I was exhausted. I came home one night and immediately broke down. I wanted her back! I couldn’t lose her, she was the one person in my life who never made me feel like something was wrong with me. I wanted her back!
That night Nannie came for a visit. In my dream she was sitting in a hospital bed and we knew she was dying. She seemed so calm, almost like she was ready to go. I realized that it was her way of letting me know that she was OK. That is was time for her to go and that I would be alright. That was about twelve years ago and I still dream about her from time to time. It usually happens when I am struggling with something and need her to hold my hand and tell me it is going to be alright…just like she had my entire life.
The next time I had this type of dream was after my mother passed away. I was very angry at that time. I was angry at God, I was angry with Mom, just plain angry. The only thing holding me together was that I knew she too would be coming into my dreams. So I waited. And I waited but it never happened. She just wasn’t there. About six months later I began having dreams where I was looking for her. Or she was there but in another room or on the phone. After a while I decided that if that was all I could get, I would have to accept it. At least I had her somewhat close even if she wasn’t right in my face.
Then she popped in one night. I woke up feeling like a new world had opened up. Unfortunately she doesn’t appear as much as my grandmother does but that’s OK. She is here and always will be. I have lost others in my life who I was close to and I can’t explain why Mom and Nannie are the only ones who have chosen to visit but in the end, the best have come through. Maybe there are others around but for whatever reason just can’t seem to let me know they are here.
I hope no one thinks of this as a scary situation. I’m not scared at all. In fact, some nights I go to sleep praying that my mom or my grandma will come for a quick visit. It calms me. I miss those women who helped make me the person that I am today. I treasure every moment that I get to spend with them, even if those moments come in my dreams.