Living With Depression

Full disclosure, I am depressed.

I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager.  Sometimes it comes about with stress, sometimes it pops up and I have no idea where it comes from.  I used to keep it hidden, paste a smile on my face and keep going.  But why?  2% of the population will experience some form of depression in their lives.  That is almost 6 million people!  With so many sufferers, why don’t we stop being ashamed and work together to raise awareness and improve mental health care?

This current bout of depression is stress induced.  We have been dealing with come uncertainty with my husband’s job.  Actually we have been dealing with this since January, hearing every week how we will have things settled “by the end of next week”.  The end of next week never seems to come.  We are now facing the possibility that our family will be separated for a significant amount of time.   All due to people who don’t seem to be able to keep their word.

My husband has a demanding job.  A job that sometimes has to come before everything else, even family.  I knew that when we married and I thought I had accepted this but I guess I was only fooling myself.  My true feelings are finally coming to the surface.  I want my husband here.  The daughter that we are in the process of adopting wants him here.  They need time to bond more than they have so far.  His older daughter would like to speak to him sometimes.  His parents miss him.

So this uncertainty, this anxiety, has brought my depression right to the top or should I say to rock bottom.  My body just cannot handle much more and is starting to show signs of stress. So you know what I am going to do?  I am going to the gym,  I am going to call a friend for lunch.  I am going to force myself out of bed every morning, take a shower, brush my teeth and even put on some makeup.  I am not going to let this thing have any more power over me than it already has.  I am not going to doubt myself or (and this is a big one) I am not going to let my marriage or my family suffer.  We all deserve better.

Is there anything that you have tried that has helped control your depression?  Is there anything that didn’t work? The only thing that will help get us all through is support and love.

Tomorrow is a new day…let’s embrace it!

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