Looking Out For Number One

“I am the one thing in life I can control.”

Wait For It, Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda.

I spend a fair amount of time in the car and use that time to either listen to a favorite podcast, audio book or just blare the music that I am not usually able to.  And yes I am one of those people who turn the volume up as loud as I can and sing at the top of my lungs.  I don’t even care if I hit a wrong note, I am the star of my own concert and loving every minute of it.

I had to run to my daughter’s school yesterday to take her a pair of shoes as she apparently broke the ones she was wearing.  That’s right, she broke her shoes.  I am still not sure how she did this but as other parents will attest, sometimes it is better not to ask too many questions.  My mood yesterday was leaning toward the Hamilton soundtrack, specifically the song “Wait for it.”  Even though I have listened to this song about a hundred times I felt as though I was hearing it for the first time.  There is a line, “I am the one thing in life I can control” that struck me like a punch in the face and I cannot seem to get out of my head.

What I have taken from this line is that you may not be able to control all that swirls around you but you can control your response.  At the end of the day, you make the choice of whether you rise or fall.

This resonates in my head these days because I have spent far too much of my life concerned with other people, what they want and doing the best I can to not hurt anyone’s feelings.  Why should that matter?  Why should I not be able to tell someone that I cannot help them at this moment or that they are being a bit out of line?  So they get pissed off.  So what?  Either they will accept it and treat me the way I feel I should be treated or they will get mad and leave.  Either way I have won.  I have put myself first and will only rise up and become a better version of myself.

So where is this revelation taking me?  Last night I was looking at my schedule for the next week and trying to fit in some gym days.  I have a few morning appointments this week and was like, oh well, no gym for me.  Why?  So I don’t go in the morning.  Why can’t I go in the afternoon?  Will the world fall apart?  No.  So I will just pack my gym back and go after my meeting.

I have also prepared people in my life for the fact that I will have “office hours.”  By this I mean I will always make time when emergencies come up but when I am working, I am working.  Don’t call and ask me to look up something that you can look up yourself but just don’t feel like it.  When I tell you I am working don’t sit and talk about general things that can be talked about later, you are interrupting my productivity.

I wake up before everyone else so that I can get some things done and put my attention directly on my family when it is time for breakfast and getting out to work and school.  Then I have a certain amount of hours to get my other stuff done before the bus arrives in the afternoon and dinner, homework and family time comes.  When 3:30 pm comes I want to put everything aside so that I can focus completely on my family until bedtime comes, so please let me get as much done as possible during my “working hours.”

Is anyone else going through these same things?  Does anyone have ideas as to how to make this transition easier?  Let’s start a conversation on taking control of our lives and doing the best we can to make ourselves better. I especially want to hear from those who work from home.  How do you do it?  What struggles do you face on a daily basis?

My wishes to you for a great weekend.


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