I wanted to sit down and write a follow-up to my last blog post but to be honest I have had a hard time doing just about anything until today. Suffering in silence will not help anyone, especially myself so here goes.
A major issue that I have is that I don’t like asking for help. For anything. I end up waiting until I am about to scream before I ask for anything. For some reason I have such a hard time asking for help. I feel like I can do it all and realistically I should know I cannot. No one can.
My husband has a pretty demanding job which includes occasional absences. While he is gone I take on all household responsibilities including bills, upkeep, laundry, meals, cars, etc. We also have a daughter who has some special needs that require appointments every week. This also falls on me. Between scheduling, coordinating with the school, transportation, this takes a large amount of time.
All of this while getting very little time to myself. During the day when my daughter is in school, I spend my time taking care of whatever needs to be done around the house and trying to get my life coaching and wedding officiant business going. I have no back up child care so where I go she goes. Please don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter and would do anything for her but there are times when I need even a moment to myself. Even if that just includes going to the market alone so I can think in quiet.
I know some people will think that this in no big deal, plenty of people do what I do and much more and get along just fine. That is true and those are the exact thoughts that I have had going through my mind over the last few weeks. I have tried very hard to put that out of mind as I cannot compare myself and my life to others and their lives. I don’t do very well with this but I am trying.
Why are we, as caregivers, so slow to say we are in trouble? Why does it seem like weakness to admit that we are not supermen or women? When will we finally have the discussion on how hard care giving can be?
I am hoping this will open up a dialogue on how to care for ourselves. We can share ideas and get support. Of course if you feel you need more in-depth help, please look up mental health providers in your area. There are free or low-cost options in most areas so please don’t let financial restraints keep you from getting the help you need.